Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reflections

More of my favorite quotes from two years ago:

Happiness is the result of circumstances, but joy endures in spite of circumstances. Life is not a problem to be solved, but a gift to be enjoyed.

Something More, Excavating Your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Many of us confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is often triggered by external events, events we usually have no control over – you get the promotion, he loves you back, and they approve your mortgage loan. Happiness camouflages a lot of fears.”

Joy is the absence of fear. Joy is your soul’s knowledge that if you don’t get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it’s because you weren’t meant to. You’re meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More. Joy is where your life began, with your first cry. Joy is your birthright.”

Most of us unconsciously create dramas in our minds, automatically expecting the worst from every situation, only to have our negative expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies. Inadvertently, we become authors of our own misfortune.”

“Our authenticity is found hidden in the small details of our daily life – home, family, work, pleasures. We think that it is the big moments that define our lives – the wedding, the baby, the new house, and the dream job. But really, these big moments of happiness are just the punctuation marks of our personal sagas. The narrative is written every day in the small, the simple, and the common; in tiny choices, in tiny changes; in the unconsidered; the overlooked; the discarded; the reclaimed.

Consider for a moment that there are only three ways to change the trajectory of our lives for better or worse: crisis, chance and choice. You may not realize it, but your life at this exact moment is a direct result of choices you made once upon a time. Thirty minutes or thirty years ago.”

Our choices can be conscious or unconscious. Conscious choice is creative, the heart of authenticity. Unconscious choice is destructive, the heel of self-abuse. Unconscious choice is how we end up living other people’s lives.”

The reason we are terrified of making choices, even little ones, is that we’re convinced we’ll make a wrong one. Again, if you’re anything like most of us, a lot of wrong choices got you where you are today and continue to keep you there. But a wrong choice isn’t necessarily a bad choice. You married the wrong man. You didn’t finish college. If you had, your life would be different, but not necessarily better.”

When we talk about Something More, it isn’t wanting a fancier car, a bigger house, or a designer dress. Something More is what we need to fill our spiritual hunger. You don’t want Something More, you need it. You feel deep within that something crucial is missing. You’re constantly looking for it, but since you don’t know what it is, the best you can do is hope that if you run across it, you’ll recognize or remember it.”

Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, we sense that something is missing in our lives and search ‘out there’ for answers. What’s often wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self.”

So which is worse, regretting what you did -- or regretting what you didn't do?

Wanting something more is really wanting a life of no regrets. Or at least no more regrets than we can die with peacefully. Regret is the only wound from which the soul never recovers. If I died tonight, what would I regret not having done today? Is there one small action that I can take to nurture my new dreams toward their fruition?

If I should be blessed with tomorrow, is there a choice that I can make, need to make, or want to make that could enhance the quality of my life? Is there one I'm postponing because it is difficult or painful? If I ignore it, will it be the regret I take with me?

You don't have to have a bad marriage to want a better one. You don't have to have a bad job to want to find your calling. You don't have to be miserable before you feel you deserve to be truly happy. All you need to know is that searching for something more is settling for nothing less than you deserve. Admitting that you want something more in your life is the first step in starting over, in discovering what that something more is for you.”

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Whether you like this and agree with me, or not, thank you for your comments. I normally do not purge an individual comment, unless it is obscene or obvious spam. If you have a question, do feel free to e-mail me at this address rulesforlife@gmail.com – Stan W.